Helping to Solve the Riddle of Teen Violence

By Barbara A. Ellicott, EdD, CCC-SLP

Teen anger grows into rage, which manifests itself in violence. Terror and pandemonium prevail as blood is shed and innocent lives are lost, and the nation is stunned into a state of psychological shock. Traumatization response ranges from paralysis to exacerbation of the "disease" with copycats exploiting the vulnerable masses.

What's going on? Have we lost touch with our teens? According to some news commentators, trying to make sense of convoluted happenings is not logical. There always have been children and teens with psychological problems and feelings of frustration and anger.

Are today's teens a special breed? I think not.

Has our response to their needs changed? Yes and no.

Is any one thing responsible, e.g., violence in the media; our fast-paced society, with technology intruding upon virtually every aspect of our lives, public and private, significantly absorbing us in work and productivity in a nonstop cycle; materialistic values; easy availability of semi-automatic weapons? Hardly.

It would appear that a gradual snowballing or synthesis of multiple factors has adversely affected our children and teens who are especially vulnerable--ones whose subtle cries for help have been denied or have gone unrecognized.

The evolution of recent precipitating violence can be compared to slow oxidation left unchecked; it has reached the point of spontaneous combustion.

These insights have come to me gradually after some 30 years of talking with literally hundreds of children from preschool to teenage years in my multiple roles as a speech-language pathology, school psychologist, teen support group facilitator, college adjunct professor, learning consultant, and teacher of the disabled. When the subtle cries for help do not receive attention, by either going unnoticed or not getting a response, they become screams of desperation.

The speech-language pathologist is in a unique position to not only hear but to truly listen to and interpret these cries. Trained in communication skills, we can assist these children in identifying and understanding some of their specific problems and frustrations and can provide them with structured communication strategies for problem-solving.

I have identified nine prevailing conditions or situations that are, at least in part, contributing factors to today's teenagers being out of control:

* lack of significant other sensitivity empathy, direction;

* lack of problem-solving skills;

* lack of appropriate treatment;

* intolerance of "differences";

* lack of wholesome role models;

* materialistic values and goals;

* lack of constructive goals for personal growth and development;

* difficulties with relationships; and

* insensitivity to the sacredness of human life and a lack of purpose.

There are some specific ways the speech-language pathologist can take an active role as an advocate in helping students understand and cope with each of these specifically identified problems while defusing anger in the process.

Listen fully and establish an atmosphere of trust. Allow the child or teen ample time to vent without interruption, even if it means forfeiting your "lesson" of the day. It is important you share with them early on that if they demonstrate a feeling such as injuring themselves or others, you have a professional obligation to inform their parents and counselors. If you do not inform them of this and tell their parents without their knowledge, youngsters may regard this as the worst breach of trust--the ultimate betrayal. The results may be devastating not only to the child but to all involved.

If you sense that a child has received unjust treatment or punishment, without taking sides inform the student that you will investigate the situation. Follow through, and give feedback and direction.

Students who lack problem-solving skills may admit to feeling like "it's the end of world." Many tend to see things in terms of black and white and may feel out of control. Assure them that although it may feel like the end of the world, it is not--that you will help them regain a feeling of control and there is always hope.

Reassure teens that you are willing to assist them in developing strategies for solving their "crises" and that you will be there for them.

Employ your expertise in communication skills to the problem-solving process, i.e., instruct students via role-playing as to the appropriate time and method for communicating, especially in dealing with authority figures. Teach them the difference between aggressive and assertive behaviors.

A lack of appropriate treatment comes in two forms--a lack of acknowledgement or recognition or inappropriate consequences or punishment for "misdemeanors."

The speech-language pathologist should listen objectively to the child's or teen's complaints, show genuine interest, and take care not to do or say anything that might spur an overly defensive reaction. By allowing children to speak freely without interruptive judgment or reprimand, they are more likely to be truthful and develop insight by hearing themselves air the unedited facts.

If a lack of recognition is an issue, the clinician can assist the child in developing the communication skills necessary for confronting the individuals who are not properly acknowledging him or her. If it has tentatively been determined that inappropriate consequences are an issue, do careful fact-finding to identify the appropriate culprit, be it a coach, parent, teacher or administrator. Keeping the child's story in mind, clinicians should make inquiries and go to the source to determine the true situation and facts. If it is determined that consequences are inappropriate and/or abusive, contact the proper personnel for assistance, such as a counselor or authorities in a position to take action.

Always give teens feedback and confront them with reality. Arm them with appropriate communication strategies for defending themselves and with problem-solving strategies. Involve other professionals as needed.

Sometimes the problem is an intolerance of differences, whether they relate to individuals, customs or language. Because ignorance breeds fear and hatred, education is our best weapon for encouraging love and tolerance, if not total acceptance. As a communication specialist, the speech-language pathologist may play an extremely important role in teaching children and teens the similarities of the human species.

Demonstrate the positive influences that multiple cultures have on our society. Stress mutual superiority among people and promote an understanding of differences.

Remind students that the vast majority of Americans were once "foreigners," and help them understand that what to their understanding is rude behavior may in fact be appropriate behavior in another culture.

Most importantly, clinicians should do some honest soul-searching and explore their own conscience for any existing prejudices. Meditate on them and attempt to discover their origin. It is imperative that the professional provide a sound example and serve as a role model. A projection of any feelings less than sincere will be sensed by students and add more fuel to the prejudicial fires.

There was a time when children aspired to being honest, loyal, trustworthy, loving, responsible, giving, dependable and hard-working. These were presented as goals to aspire to, and those who fell short felt embarrassed.

It is imperative that the speech-language pathologist impart, mostly by example, those once-honored exemplary qualities. The clinician should demonstrate how a feeling of personal worth comes as a result of hard work and from making a positive contribution to others and to society. Help children understand how giving to and helping others bring the reward of great personal fulfillment.

Traditionally, the attainment of wealth has not necessarily been the goal to end all goals; it was regarded as a means by which goals and aspirations might be attained. Today, however, it seems as though most teens with whom I work regard money as the ultimate achievement--a universal goal across socioeconomic lines.

Again, the speech-language pathologist, by example and imagery, can help young people understand that, though important for survival, money as an exclusive goal is a barren one. Through role-playing and visualization, have children dream of all the material things they would like to possess. Then have them imagine that they own all those things and can play and play without having to go to work. Relate this to the feelings of emptiness, boredom and frustration that individuals may have who do not have goals beyond earning money.

Also by example, the clinician should demonstrate the importance of spirituality, emotional stability, and a feeling of personal worth. Encourage children to establish goals that will help them to grow in mind, spirit and body. Explain that this growth is a life-long process. Teach them how negative experiences may be converted to constructive happenings and how keeping this in mind will help them to feel in control of their lives, which is empowering.

Whether someone is an introvert, extrovert or ambivert by nature, interpersonal relationship skills are vital for healthy emotional survival. Many children who feel rejected lack social skills. However, they often are clueless as to why they were rejected and feel like victims.

The clinician is in an ideal position to teach social communication skills, especially through role-playing. At the elementary level discussion and pragmatic role-playing can be advantageous in making friends and understanding various levels of friendship. Information such as dealing with difficult people has proven to be extremely beneficial at the high school level.

Unfortunately, when individuals are repeatedly exposed to the tragedy of death and dying, they become desensitized.

For example, it is known that children in Ireland who have been exposed to atrocities and death appear to lack appropriate affect. When a colleague of mine visited Ireland and sat in a classroom some years ago, he was astonished at a student's nonchalant response to a teacher who asked where a particular student was that day.

"Oh," the child replied flatly, "she was shot and killed an hour ago."

It seems as though the constant violence in the media--both real and Hollywood's own--has deadened the senses of many and desensitized them. What is especially shameful is that the heroes in the media are murderous, unscrupulous characters. It is difficult to find a cartoon on TV that is free from hideous aggression and violence.

The speech-language pathologist often is in a position to get to know a child or teen better, especially when providing one-on-one treatment. During those sessions, the clinician can help the youngster feel appreciated, respected and valued. By believing in children and conveying faith in their ability to be the best they can be, the clinician can help them find their strengths, build upon them, and see their vital role in the beautiful cycle of life.

Via role-playing, clinicians should demonstrate how vital interdependent human relationships are and teach the interdependence of all creatures.

Following are specific case scenarios in which intervention by a speech-language pathologist proved to be effective.

A freshman in high school presented as downtrodden and depressed, speaking only when spoken to. He spoke in a monotone and was a loner without friends. He disclosed to a speech-language pathologist that he hated people and didn't want to have anything to do with them. However, he expressed a love for hunting dogs and wanted to breed them.

By the end of the school year, he was feeling hostile toward others; but he expressed this only to the clinician. He indicated that he wished he could shoot those toward whom he felt extremely hostile. Serving as an effective listener and confidante, the speech-language pathologist was able to communicate this information to the teen's guidance counselor and student assistant counselor, who deals with students who have special problems, including alcohol and drug abuse.

The boy was guided by his counselors into a number of activities: enrolling in a hunting licensing training program, where he learned a respect for firearms and the responsibility that comes with owning one, and being hired as a dog sitter for a resident in the community who bred hunting dogs.

The speech-language pathologist incorporated social communication and assertiveness training skills into the teen's goals and objectives. Through observation, speech-language activities and spontaneous discourse, the clinician followed the student's progress. There was a positive transition in his demeanor by his junior year, and he acknowledged feeling more in control of his life. He had some direction and was respected by several students who learned of his special interests and activities. He made a few friends, including the son of the dog breeder, and was invited to many of the family's functions and activities.

By his senior year, the teen had a part-time job, improved his grades, and was better adjusted and happier. Currently, this well-adjusted and content young man is attending college and working part-time.

A second case also involved a freshman. A bright student, he was described as "a good kid" by his teachers and parents. However, his mother noted that he was "the only good kid in our family" and admitted to having an extremely dysfunctional family. The boy's siblings abused drugs and alcohol. The speech-language pathologist recognized the tremendous responsibility the teen must have felt regarding his parents' expectations for him to compensate for the others.

By his sophomore year, the teen's behavior changed. He projected intense anger and told the speech-language pathologist that he was tired of being "the good kid" constantly subjected to psychological abuse by his siblings. He was perceptive enough to see that his parents were enablers.

It is not unusual for children who are psychologically abused to become highly sensitized to injustices not only in home and school but in society at large. They also tend to be highly perceptive as to the reasons for the injustices. Seeing peers falsely accused of misdemeanors was upsetting to this teen, and some injustices affected him directly.

The speech-language pathologist served as an effective listener and confidante for the student and then discussed the case with his guidance counselor, student assistant counselor, and the director of Special Services. This resulted in positive home intervention, with family counseling on a regular basis, and positive intervention with a school disciplinarian, who learned that the student was not the wayward adolescent he was accused of being.

Through role-playing, the clinician assisted the teen in developing assertive strategies and helped him understand how much more effective they are than aggressive approaches. The speech-language pathologist encouraged the student's writing talents, especially as a means to vent his feelings. The teen was receptive to the clinician sharing her own poetry with him. He was inspired to write and bought in short stories and poems by the dozen to be read and discussed.

The clinician demonstrated the effectiveness of bibliotherapy and the benefit of reading self-help books as well as inspirational stories, which portrayed main characters with whom the student could identify.

As demonstrated, the speech-language pathologist's role may be vital in the identification and joint facilitation of treatment for children and teens who exhibit frustration and anger and may have a propensity for rage and violence.

The above strategies may assist children and teens during critical times and situations that have the potential to be life-threatening.

References

Freed, A. (1988). T.A. for Teens & Other Important People. CA: Jalmar Press.

Gajewski, N., & Mayo, P. Personal Power. Eau Claire, WI: Thinking Publications.

Huisingh, R., Barrett, M., et al. (1984). Situational Language: A Pragmatic Approach to Problem-Solving. East Moline, IL: LinguiSystems, Inc.

McGinnis, E., Goldstein, A., et al. (1989). Skill Streaming the Elementary School Child: A Guide for Teaching Pro-Social Skills. Champaign, IL: Research Press.

Mannix, D. (1995). Life Skills Activities for Secondary Students with Special Needs. West Nyack, NY: Center for Applied Research in Education.

Mayo, P., & Waldo, P. Communicate. Eau Claire, WI: Thinking Publications.

Newsweek. (1999). The secret lives of teens. May 10, p. 45.

Newsweek. (1999). When teens fall apart. May 10, p. 42.

Newsweek. (1999). Why the young kill. May 3, p. 32.

Weinrich, B., Glaser, A., & Johnston, E. (1986). Sourcebook of Adolescent Pragmatic Activities: Therapy & Intervention for Language Therapy. Tucson, AZ: Communication Skill Builders.

Zakim, S. (1986). Communication Workshop. East Moline, IL: LinguiSystems, Inc.

Barbara Ellicott, EdD, is a speech-language pathologist, learning consultant and school psychologist in New Jersey.